Lonely - 238 Days

Mama took you to Toronto to visit Uncle Jun, Aunt Mai and Grandma (and An chan!). The house is quiet tonight and it is not a nice sound. You are not in any of your favorite places.

Self Sleep - 232 Days

A bit of a milestone last night. We've been at wit's end recently with your sleeping patterns (or lack of). You don't seem to need much sleep. A 30-40 minute nap suits you fine and 2 hour chunks of sleep at night seem to be enough for you.

Not fine for us though.

Compound this with the fact that getting you back to sleep after you wake up can take upwards of an hour...more sometimes. Recipe for two tired parents (though to be honest, it's your mama doing all the late night work).

I've been advocating for a bit more of the Cry It Out technique. Controversial for sure, it's a very difficult, heart wrenching thing to do. What made it easier for me was this though: you're a faker.

You are kid, sorry. A few nights back I wanted to let you cry for a bit at bed time. We gave you your final feeding, changed your diaper and put you into your crib fully awake. This you did not like.

You cried and wailed and made faces of agony. You appeared to be in pain beyond belief. We thought you might really be in pain. We wavered.

I picked you up and miracle of all miracles....you stopped crying. Instantly. And realizing your victory, you did something that would ultimately double our future resolve.

You smiled.

Before even picking you up I knew I was being conned. I felt it, yet was powerless. I picked you up. I caved. But when you stopped crying and then smiled, I knew round 2 would be mine. You overplayed your hand. 

Last night, with quiet determination, I took you upstairs at bedtime. Normally mama does this, but I had a plan. And I was sticking to it.

I fed you a half bottle of milk, giving you a chance to drink yourself to sleep (something you like). And it almost worked. When there were but a few drops off milk left your eyes were mostly closed. Had there been a few more ounces you probably would have made it.

But, with the bottle dry, you woke up and started to fuss. This was my cue. I stood up, placed you gently in your bed, and walked away...your screams trailing me down the stairs. 

Mama and I then just watched TV, with the ebb and flow of your cries drifting to the living room. Soon, all was quiet, so mama snuck upstairs to check. No dice. You were wide awake and playing.

Undetterred, we continued watching TV, while you went from babbling, to crying to quiet...and usually back to crying.

After some time, your cry became a whimper. Your babble became a burble. Then. Silence.

Suspecting it was another "I'll be quiet until they come upstairs" ploy, mama cautiously climbed the steps to check on you. To her amazement and delight...you were fast asleep!

You'd done it! Put yourself to sleep without mama's reassuring snuggle or a milk bottle. Granted, you were sideways and on your belly, tangled in a mess of swaddle blanket...but you were asleep.

Hallelujah.

You woke up several hours later and after a prolonged spell of crying, put yourself back to sleep again!

Not ready to say you've turned a corner just yet, but for a night, for this first battle of will...I think we all did very well. 

Sleep more little man. Dreams are a wonder.

Boy You Like To Grab Your Junk - 225 Days

It might be something all little baby boys do, it might be normal...but it is still startling when you grab your junk. Even more so because you don't just "grab" it, you pull, pinch and twist it. This causes me pain!

The photo below shows an attempt, though rest assured, we have a photo of you just out of the bath showing the real deal. Blackmail material for later years.

You are... - 211 Days

I'm really REALLY tired.
What's wrong with you? You don't like anything!

Give some food, cry.
Put you to sleep, cry.
Give you milk, cry.
Leave you, cry.
Go out and stop on the way a little, cry.
Wipe, cry.
Hold you, cry.

Just cry cry cry cry cry....and not sleep at night.
I feel crazy.

What do you want? What do you want me to do??

Little Mover and Shaker, or, Boy, You Are Crazy - 204 Days

You're a little over 6 months old. I know that's not a lot of time but it feels like it sometimes. The days when you were light as a feather and could basically fit in my hand are long gone. I remember looking at my hand compared to your hand when you were only a couple weeks old..it seemed unreal that your fingers could be so small. I remember thinking how delicate you must be and how petrified I was (and still am) about hurting you (dropping, rolling over onto, etc…).

A couple weeks old, tiny hands.

Fast forward to today and I'm starting to realize how you might not be so delicate anymore. 

To begin with, you can basically sit on your own now, support your neck and all that. You roll over like crazy (and roll and roll and roll). I put you down on your play mat on your back, blink my eyes and next thing I see is you on your tummy. Your first signs of mobility are happening fast and furious. 

Lately, this is what I see in the morning. Wide awake and ready to play.

It's terrifying.

Your crib used to seem like a wide expanse that was an island of safety. Now I wake up and look into your crib and see you in a completely different position than we left you.

You also have started to side sleep. It's so grown up.

Mama puts you on the floor, walks to the bathroom, then comes back and you're far from where you started. Once you start walking, I think we are in trouble.

Started at the blanket, only the stairs stopped you.

Freddy Krueger Dreams - 201 Days

Either there's an evil mad man ruling your dreams or you have a very high tolerance for pain. WTF dude?

What About February 15th? - 201 Days

This already happened and your papa wrote about this already, but I want to write a little about that day.

On 2/14, you had a doctor appointment. You got 4 shots. (4!! I would die! You are a strong boy.)
Of course you cried. But you seemed fine soon after that.

The next morning, I saw some strange behavior. You blinked furiously a few times,  almost like twitching.  But I didn't care so much. I just thought "ah your new boom behavior? crazy boy."

Then, in the afternoon I was holding and feeding you. I felt something different about you. I felt your neck was hotter than usual. Then I touched your face. I felt the same thing. But your body was really cold. And you looked tired a little.

I told your papa about this. But you didn't have a cold or any sickness by then. And we checked your temperature. It was a little high but not so bad. So I asked papa to check the paper about the shots to see what the side effects were.

The paperwork from the doctor had the exact same thing written as was happening to you. The first bit of good news. We knew we don't need to worry too much. But it's the first time for us too. So we didn't want to make any wrong decisions.

So we called the doctor to tell her about this. She told us the symptoms should be gone by the next afternoon, but we can give you cold medicine to make you feel better.

We gave you the medicine. You cried so much, maybe because you were tired too. Your papa held you to make you feel better and relax. You spit up milk so bad. No, more like throwing milk. We were surprised. We helped you calm down, changed your clothes, and held you a lot.

After that you slept a lot. At night also you slept all night. Next morning you were a happy boy, like usual.

It was new step being your parents (for us). I was glad a little I could feel your difference so soon.

Our hope is that you are always healthy, lovely and happy.