Sometimes I wake up at 4 or 5am and feel like...I want to go running so hard! I know your papa will be worried if I do, so I don't. I go out to the living room and walk a little and do some stretching. Then get tired and sleep again.
Sometimes I have bad dreams. I only remember the last 3 dreams. After I came back from Japan, I had a dream of your grandma. She was so sweet to me but my behavior was not good. I woke up and cried so much. I felt lonely. That day your papa came back from work early for me. I felt I'm really happy that I have this life together with your papa.
Next one was maybe last week? The dream was that your cousin Rintaro got lost, and it was my fault. I could imagine how sad and scary that is. After you are born, I will never do anything like this for sure.
And yesterday, I had another dream. I was taking a bath, and the tub was full of frogs and frog babies. Yuck! There was your grandma and she told me, "Ah, I had this experience a few times. Because your grandma (for you, great-grandma) used to live in a place where there are a lot of frogs. So some frogs put their eggs in clothes or somewhere then after she took a bath, they moved and stayed in the tub. So they grow up there."
That's a strange dream, right?
Also, yesterday your grandma (papa's) left here. I was sad and cried again.
When something like this happens, my feeling is super nervous and a little scary. I hope this feeling doesn't go to you too. Like that time, I hold your papa's hand to calm down. Your papa is my medicine :).
Do you feel this?
Today is not so bad weather. the wind is strong, clouds are moving fast. But I can see the blue sky. I'm waiting to show you many beautiful things.
-Mama
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