Really? - 4 Days Shy of 1 Month

C'mon dude. This morning, you pooped and peed WHILE we were changing your diaper. Really? The Wee Blocker we bought doesn't seem like enough. We also need a Poop Stopper.

Rock N Roll - 5 Days Shy of 1 Month Old

Here's the funny thing about sleep deprivation: every little thing that used to be important to me has taken a back seat to my new and only goal...getting you to sleep, or at the very least, relax. This might be what people are talking about when they mention a parent's sacrifice. And of course it must be so. If we choose to have a child, we are also making a choice to put that child first. For me, that means you. For your mama too.

And thank god for your mama (and you should thank her too, when you get older). Here's why.

Last night, you were freaking out. You were hot and sweaty. We fed you, changed your diaper (about 20 times!). We did everything we could do to make you feel better, but still you cried. Crying babies can be cute, so let me re-phrase that. Last night you wailed.

Here's where sleep deprivation comes back into play. You slept pretty well all day yesterday up until 10pm and onward. Of course, this is the time we are sleepy, and after 3+ weeks of not sleeping too much, our sleepy times are REALLY sleepy. 

So last night nothing seemed to make you feel better. Maybe you had gas (you fart a lot), that probably was painful. I know you were not hungry. But I can't help too much with stomach gas so you just continued to cry. Mama was helping to clean the house, do some laundry or something, so she wasn't in the living room. It was just you and me. I was trying and trying to calm you down but you just cried and cried. Finally, I just yelled, "What the F*%k!"

I feel bad about this now. I feel terrible that I said a bad word to you (I don't think you noticed because you just continued to cry). I shouldn't use that word. I don't want you to say that word, at least not until you are older and wiser. Your mama though is a wonderful person. She quickly came back into the living room and smiled at me and took you into her arms (maybe she was rescuing you?). She gave me a soft kiss and I walked away to take a break.

Of course, today I feel terrible. You're a baby. You only have a few things you can do right now and crying is one of those things. I know this, but I let my frustration get the better of me. Sorry kiddo. I'll do my best to take a deep breath before I say a bad word. Mamas and papas are supposed to be good examples for their kids.

Now, I know you are going to cry more. I know I won't be able to stop your crying every time. And maybe I will never know why you are crying like you cried last night.

Or will I?

This weekend, you were sleeping in my arms. You're usually a peaceful sleeper, but this time you were moving a little bit. I looked down and noticed this:

I can only surmise that you have some sort of internal heavy metal soundtrack going on in your head. During the day time this is probably pleasant. You can rock out to the sounds of Ronnie James Dio and Iron Maiden and devil horn it up to your heart's content. I can only further surmise that at night this becomes annoying to you and you wish that soundtrack would just turn off so you could snooze.

To help, I am devising a plan to de-metal your internal soundtrack at night by slowly introducing soothing sounds starting at the 8pm hour. It is my hope that a couple hours of Enya and sounds of the rain forest will turn the tide against Black Sabbath and by midnight or so you'll be in new age dreamland.

If this doesn't work, I'll come up with a new plan. But I promise this much: I won't let it slip my mind that you are a baby, and babies cry. You keep doing what you are doing, we're so happy to hear your voice.

Aren't You Tired? +3 Weeks

It's been 3 weeks since you've joined us. I think we have gone through every emotion. It still amazes me that you are here. 

You don't sleep much though. Well, not at night anyway. Why? Are you on Japan time? While you might not sleep a lot at night, here's a list of things you do a lot:

Eat

Poop

Punch the air

Spit up on your clothes

Spit up on you bed

Spit up on your parents

Make us smile

We might be tired and we might go crazy when you're crying, but it's a beautiful sound really. I'm happy just to hold you and listen to your little (sometimes big) voice.

Nice To Meet You Genki - +Week 2

Finally! We met you. Why you didn't want to go outside? I feel like I want to see how comfortable it is in my belly.

It was scary when I was having contractions. Super painful. So your papa was holding my hand all the time. I couldn't eat heavy food. They gave me only light food. Water, juice, crackers and sherbet. When my contractions were bad, they gave me an oxygen mask because your oxygen was low. It smelled like maple syrup. I wanted to eat the macadamia nuts pancake that me and your papa ate on our babymoon in Hawaii. (After labor, your papa ordered the pancake for me at the hospital. It was not so good though...).

During the c section too, he was holding my hand all the time. My body couldn't stop shaking. Because of anesthesia? Or because I was scared. We tried not to think about it and kept chatting about other things. Maybe about your papa's sister and something about my brother. I don't remember well.

Suddenly I heard your crying voice. Your papa looked at you. I could't see because Im laying down and there was the curtain in front of me. A little bit later, they put you on a rolling cart that near my bed. Then I could see you for the first time! At that time I was shaking for happiness. Your papa cut the cord. I couldn't see well because there was many people around you. After that they brought you to me and I held you for the first time. I almost cried. I remember I cried at the doctor's office When we knew I had you in my belly.

...So now you came back home with us. You didn't sleep well past few nights. But last night, you slept from 1am to 4:40! We were surprised. Good boy, Best boy :)

By the way, look at this picture. This is Jan 28th's photo of you. You are only 3 months? Now, you really like this pose. We didn't know how much you preferred this position at that time. It's funny.

I feel nervous and fear if I'm doing well for you all the time. If you don't sleep, if you cry too much, if you're annoyed during nursing.

Your smile makes me happy. Today your grandma and great grandma left here. Of course I was sad and cried like usual. But I could be patient more than before she left. Because now I have you. I have my own family. Your papa also helps me a lot. If he wasn't here, I couldn't do everything.

Thank you for coming to us.
 I love you so much. I love my family.

Project Koguma, Phase II - Make Genki genki - + Week1

Wow, what a week it has been. You're 6 days old and have been home for 3 days. It really is a numbers game at this point. How many ml are you drinking? How many hours are we sleeping? How many diapers are you having?

While we are on that subject, let's talk about last night. Mama and I know you don't sleep all night yet. We know that will come later. We are doing our best to keep you fed and clean at night. Last night though, I think you were playing games.

You woke up at maybe 2am or something like that. That's normal, you wake up a lot. You are a hungry growing boy. We changed your diaper together. It always takes two people because you kick and punch so much. You hate diaper changing time. So we cleaned you up, put a fresh diaper on you, then mama started to feed you.

During your feeding though, you pooped again! It was funny. Kind of a cute sound. It's fine. We thought we should change you again soon so you will eat then sleep quickly. We did. Cleaned you up, fresh diaper (again). Mama then started to feed you again (to finish the feeding). 10 minutes later...ANOTHER poop! What? Really? I think I saw a little smile on your face. If so, you have my sense of humor.

I've been taking a lot of photos of you. Some are good, some bad (my fault, not yours). Some day we will give all the photos to you. They are kind of a family treasure for me.

Project Koguma - Phase 1 Complete - +1 Day

Well baby bear, you made it! Now we can officially start referring to you as Genki Orsino Buglio, instead of Koguma-chan (though I suspect that name will pop up from time to time.

I'll start by saying you held off your entrance as long as you could. For some reason you just didn't want to turn your head, so we had to take matters into our own hands and get you out of mama's belly. That was a very emotional decision and a little bit scary too. But baby and mama are safe and healthy, so in the end we made the right choice. Here's a look at the three of us when you were only a few minutes old.

What can I say? You're wonderful. We are so happy to finally see you and hold you and feed you and yes, even change your diapers. That might change, but for now it's all fun.

You sleep pretty well so far, we know that will change too, but we are glad you can sleep a little, so that we can sleep a little too. You make funny noises when you are almost asleep. You sound a little like a pig, or a frog. Strange noises for a baby bear, no?

We're going to continue this blog as long as we can. As long as feels natural. Some day we will give you a book of these entries, to show you how we were feeling week to week and month to month when you were growing inside mama's belly. Now you are growing up in the world. Like I said in the beginning: take your time out here, grow strong.

Ready For Your Debut? - Week 41, 3 Days

Baby Bear, it's finally time to coax you out of hibernation. We checked in to the hospital last night to get the process started. And start it did! Your mama has endured so many contractions now that I can judge them based on her facial expressions. This is one of the "nice" ones.

She's also just had an epidural put in. That was not fun. But it will help make your final journey from her belly a more comfortable one for her.


When we were married, we didn't know when we would see you. After Thanksgiving last year we knew we would see you in about 9 months. Now, we are hours away from seeing you. Time flies. I've been watching your heartbeat. It's very strong.

See you soon Baby Bear.