Morning Baby - 125 Days

Every morning before I leave for work I stop by your crib (quietly) and look at you for awhile. Sometimes you are awake, but usually you are sleeping. Sometimes you are swaddled nice and tight, often your blanket is open and your arms are up by your head. Sometimes you are crying, sometimes talking...sometimes you are just looking around. It's always different.

I try to take a photo, but the light is low and my iPhone camera doesn't do well. This morning you were awake and talking to yourself. You were smiling a lot. I wanted to take a photo but I accidentally dropped my phone on your chest. It was a short drop and you were awake, but you still cried. It was a bit of a shock for you. Of course as soon as I picked you up you settled down and started smiling again.

I think already you were a little mad at us. Yesterday you went to the doctor for your four month check. You had to get some vaccinations (again). You got two shots and some liquid medicine. When you got the first shot at two months, you really didn't cry much. Just a little. This time though, I know you felt the pain for real. You let out the loudest, sharpest scream I have ever heard. Mama couldn't watch. I tried to make you feel better, and soon after the shots, I calmed you down.

It made me feel good. Yesterday and this morning you were screaming in pain (one was real, one was just shock)...but I could calm you down. It made me feel a new connection to you. It made me feel good.

The Many Faces of Baby Bear - 118 Days

That title is a little joke. I look at you and sometimes I think I see me. A lot of the time I think I see your mama. But most of the time I think you look just like you. It's nice for parents to see themselves in their baby's face, but really I think you are your own little boy. I think that is a good thing.

Thanksgiving 2013 - 106 Days

Hey baby bear

First, soooooo cranky last night. Why? Mama is so tired because she was awake all night with you.

Maybe you were too excited because this weekend you had a lot of stimulation. Lot's of people to look at and hold you. New bedroom to sleep in. Long car rides? I don't know what it can be, but I know you  were a bad boy last night crying so much!

Maybe you want Sarah to read you a bed time story?

The dream "3 months" - 100days!

Many information told us "If the baby becomes 3 months..." it's a very positive thing.
It was kind of our motivation too. We told ourselves, now it's so hard but soon It would be batter.

Yes, it was right. You changed in so many ways.

You became more patient and can wait more when I'm busy.
When I take a shower in the evening or wash my face in the morning, you just watch me and wait.
You watch TV a lot, play alone a lot, talk a lot, smile a lot.

These days you slept 6 hours for the first time. I was really happy when I counted the time.
And last night! You slept 7 hours!!! What a wonderful gift it is for your 100 days anniversary.

November Smiles - 98 Days

Getting ready for your big 100 day celebration? Mama has something special planned for you.

Maybe that is why you are smiling a lot more lately. It's wonderful. In the morning, when you see us for the first time, you smile. When I come home after work and you see me, you smile. It's so sweet and you help to make long days a little nicer.

Of course you balance that with some loud crying at night before you go to bed. But I'll take the smiles and live with the crying.

Dream a Little Dream - 12 Weeks

There are all kinds of theories about why babies smile. Baby gas is my favorite. Just the idea of a fart making a baby smile seems kind of nice. From what I have read though, it's not gas. When you're awake, you smile a lot. I think that is due to the environment around you and of course your mama and me playing with you.

When you are sleeping though, it must be a different story. There are only your thoughts (or your body functions) to give you any stimulus. Sometimes I am lucky and I catch you smiling when you are sleeping. It's so sweet and I really do wonder what is going through your mind that causes a smile.

Sleepy Boy - 11 Weeks, 5 Days

Hey Baby Bear

Well, it's too early to say 100%, but you might be turning a corner on this whole sleep thing. Recently, you have been sleeping for longer stretches at night. You've even had a couple of 5 hour sleeping sessions. How awesome is that.

Of course, we just turned the clocks back for daylight savings time and that screwed things up a little bit. Fingers crossed this trend continues.

You did it! - 2 months and 17 days

Wow!! You slept 5 hours last night! It was the first time.

Good job Genki. Keep that up.

Cry It Out? - 2 months and 16 days

Sometimes when you cry so much, we try to teach you to calm down by yourself. Well, maybe I'm weak so I can't leave you so long...but anyway we try it.

Last weekend it also happened. You cried so hard for no reason (maybe, we don't know). We gave you milk, tried to play with you, held you and walked around. Nothing worked. So we decided to put you down in your crib, upstairs alone.


But I worried too much. I thought maybe 30 minutes is the max. Because I read like this, and always the person who puts you down was papa and picks you up was me. I didn't want you to remember us like this. So I told him to pick you up.

He didn't agree. Because your papa was going to leave you until you stopped crying. Even if he picked you up, he thought you wouldn't stop crying. But remember, he was doing this because he loves you so much.

But I couldn't wait and asked again.

Your papa picked you up. You didn't stop crying. It was bad timing also. It's the time for your milk. You were hungry too.

I can't be so strong and leave you crying because there is some reason maybe.

If it's works or not, I don't know 100% for sure. Because you are only 2 months old. Even older age, sometimes I think (and some people also says) it's depends on the baby's character.

I held you in my belly for 10 months. Actually, now, it's really only a short time too that I can hold you and you want me to hold in your life. Soon you will be a big boy and walk to walk alone.

Some people say "Cry It Out" to make the future a little easier. Other people say that crying too much makes the baby slow to grow up because they use their power for crying more than growth. Or maube they will lose their personality if they cry too much,  like they don't  show their feeling.

I don't know what is true and what is right for you.

We will figure out little by little. I hope...

How Long? - 79 Days

Yesterday I was wondering how long we'll be able to rub your tummy or kiss your cheek and do all the affectionate things that we do now because you have no choice. I know it will last for a while, but not too long. Especially because you are a boy, and sometime in the not-too-distant future you won't like kisses or holding hands with your parents.

It kind of makes me sad. At some point you won't want all the smushy stuff from mom and dad. You'll start with that. Maybe girls are different? More affectionate? I don't know. But I do know I am going to take advantage of this time when you really have no choice about us holding you or brushing your hair back.

Dude, Really? - 71 Days

There's an old song, from the 60s, called "Mama Said." I've heard it a hundred times but all I remember is the lyric "Mama said there'd be days like this." The song is all about accepting what the reality is, because Mama warned us that things would happen. Maybe some things we don't like.

Well my mama (your grandma) NEVER told me that my baby would cry as much as you. My mama NEVER told me that my baby would sleep for only a couple hours each time. My mama never told me I would drop f-bombs in front of an eight week old baby because the baby wouldn't stop being fussy.

Baby Bear, there's no way to sugar coat this. You cry a lot. Sometimes your mama has to hold you all day because if she puts you in the crib or baby basket, you cry your eyes out. We don't know why you cry. We feed you. Change your diaper. Burp you. Smile at you. Play with you. Beg you to relax. Reason with you. Nothing seems to work.

Sometimes you drive us so crazy we want to bang our heads against a wall. And then other times you smile so sweetly and kind of laugh and you melt our hearts. This is the baby's defense. 90% of the time you make us crazy and then 10% you are the cutest fucking thing on the planet and we forget about all the sleepless night and dirty diapers and spitting up and we just fall head over heels in love with you again and again.

How do you do that? Why do you do that?

OSANPO - 2 Months

2 days ago you were a really good boy so I could get dinner ready and have more extra time.
So I decided to take a short bus trip with you first time (to Hawthorne Blvd.).
I thought it would be too difficult with stroller because it's crowded in the bus usually.
I carried you with baby bjorn to the bus stop near the Walgreens. When I got there, there were so many people waiting for the bus already. Many people looked at me and you, everybody talked to me saying things like "so cute baby!""Boy or girl?""What is his name?"...many things.
I talked with strangers more than I have ever talked before.

When the bus came, you were almost sleeping. Then after we got on the bus, yes, of course you slept soon. You really like riding in vehicles.

I walked the street a little and had lunch. Actually it was the first time to have lunch alone in Portland.
The lunch was, um...so so. But I enjoyed that time.
Then I did some window shopping. I found the scarf, the sweater, the bag, the cup and the books that I liked.
But we have to use the money for something necessary now. Not something we like.
So I didn't buy. Actually, the cup and the books are for you. Especially the cup, I looked at them already 3 times. 3 times I thought hard and didn't buy. Maybe If I have a chance to see it 4 times, I will buy.

Everything was ok. You were a good boy the whole time. I could enjoy walking.
Let's do it someday soon again.

Bad Weekend - 8 Weeks

What happened this weekend? You cried more than ever and slept less than ever. So, I felt more frustrated than ever. I think this is all normal. You're learning how to be a baby, I'm learning how to be a papa. This weekend was a lesson.

Of course, you are not doing this on purpose. Sometimes, well almost always, you cry right before we start to eat. But of course you are not doing that on purpose (right?). You sleep during the day and start to cry a lot right around midnight. But you can't be doing this on purpose (right?).

A good lesson this weekend for sure. It's good I got frustrated because it reminds me that babies are babies and can't control what they do, but I can control what I do. Thanks for the lesson little one.

Genki Sounds - 7 Weeks, 6 Days

Baby Bear, I must say, you have many sounds. We already know you like to cry at night. You wake up like a Swiss clock around midnight and sing to your mama for hours. Of course, we think you are singing rock n roll. Your crying voice is so loud.

Then other times you have such a sweet quiet voice when you are talking to yourself. I think you must be testing out all the new sounds you can make. This is one of my favorite times. I sit and listen to you burble and coo through different sounds and it melts my heart.

When we are lucky, you are making one of the sweetest sounds we know: your snoring. I didn't think such a big snore could come out of your little button nose, but it does. Sometimes you sleep so deeply and your snore is repeating so perfectly, I think it must be a computer loop.

Sometimes the sounds don't come from your mouth or nose....they come from a little bit lower. How can you fart so loud? It must make you feel wonderful because your face looks so calm after you fart.

The only sound I don't like is when you make no sound at all. I hate that. I always want to hear your breathing or your sweet voice. I don't always want to hear the crying, but that is better than no sound. When I carry you in the Baby Bjorn, you stick your nose flat against my chest. I can't see if you are breathing and it drives me crazy.

But you know that. You know it drives us crazy when you scream at night. You know it drives us crazy when you spit out all the milk we gave you. You know it drives us crazy when you poop into the diaper we just changed.

It drives us crazy, but we love you. Of course we do. When you get a little bit older, I'll probably tell you to "be quiet" a lot. Don't get too angry. We are saving all of our "be quiets" now to tell you later.

Today

Why did you cry so much?

Being Mama - 7 weeks

3 nights ago, you didn't sleep at all.
Usually you sleep about 2 hours, 3 times. But at that time, you just kept crying and drinking. Maybe because a stomach ache? I worried because I know it's too much milk for your stomach. I gave you a  massage all night.

It started at 10pm. About 2 hours passed...well, ok. This is kind of normal. You will sleep soon...
You missed 1 sleep cycle. Already 2am. Um, maybe after this milk the crying will finish...
No, not yet. Ah maybe it's a dirty diaper? Ok, I will change your diaper, then you can sleep...
F! Already 3:30am...When will you sleep?
Again? milk?! I used all the milk I had prepared for the night. I have to go to the kitchen to make more...I don't like you!!! I wanna cry...
Wow...5:30? I can see the morning sunshine a little from the window.
I did everything...What do you want? Why can't you sleep? Still have a stomach ache? Why are you crying? This room is cold. I have a headache. I want to cry. I want to sleep. What can I do for you...?

Actually I wanted to throw you out, since 3am. At 4:30am, you slept about 20 minutes. That time I made some tea for myself to relax. I calmed down and became warmer then. But I maybe couldn't leave the stress behind.

I was crying before I realized it. At 6:30, your papa came upstairs. He was surprised to see me.
He took you from me and said "get some sleep" with sweet voice. Your crying was still in my ears after you left. I couldn't sleep for a while. But soon I could fall asleep.
Your papa went to the office but came back soon that afternoon. I was relieved.

Then 2 days ago, you didn't sleep well again. Not super bad like that night though.
I got stress again. Early morning, my stress got so high. I shouted to you "sleep!!" I felt sooo bad after that. And I thought maybe I have postpartum depression.

Now I don't do anything perfect. I don't clean the house so well. I don't cook so much. Basically it is just taking care of you. Some women take care of their baby and go to work. When I think about myself, I feel like I do nothing. Only parenting, I can't do well. I can't give you my milk too.
Now I knew how difficult to have a baby more and more.

Please wait. I promise I will be a good mama more for you.

Smashing Colic - Almost 6 Weeks

Babies cry, we understand this. Babies eat, poop, sleep and look cute. And they cry. It is really the only way you can tell us if you are hungry, dirty or uncomfortable. Babies cry, we get it.

You my son, seem to prefer night time crying. Or maybe you're just on Japanese time. You go in and out of sleep during the day, but at night, you seem to howl at the moon (despite not being able to see or even understand what the moon is).

Your mama is an angel. She takes care of you at night. I tried, but I was awake all night, every night. then I would go to work and my eyes would be so heavy. I just couldn't do it. Your mama though is strong, and she is taking care of you at night.

These days, we have a routine. When I come home after work, I will take you and try to give your mama a break. I hold you a lot, maybe too much. We want you to sleep by yourself more, but you love to be held. So, after work I will hold you for a while and your mama can relax a little.

Before bed, she will take a shower and during this time you go in and out of sleep. Last night, you were sleeping and then suddenly woke up, unhappy and crying. Maybe a nightmare? Maybe gas? Anyway, you were crying.

At the same time, I happened to change the TV to a channel that was showing the Smashing Pumpkins in concert. I turned it up and immediately you stopped crying. Your eyes became wide and you had a strange look on your face. Maybe it is your Chicago connection? Maybe it is just hearing strange (but good) sounds? I don't know the reason, but you stopped crying and then we watched the concert together, quietly rocking out. It was great!

Diaper Size 1 - 1 Month+

Genki kun, you drink so much milk.  It shows with your growth. Now already you are not a "New born" baby. We just changed the size of your diaper to a bigger size yesterday (because the old size wasn't holding everything).

But you know, there are still over 200 diapers, N sized in our stock.
How could we imagine that you would grow up so fast? This is a happy thing but at the same time, a little bit sad for us maybe?

Now you are a baby. Then you will be a boy. Then you will be a man.
2 days ago, your papa showed kind of a sexy music video to you, just for joking. (Of course you didn't understand and focus on it.) That time, I imagined someday you will bring home the girl (or a boy, whatever.) who you love. I know it's really far future. But I felt like it's soon.

Your skin condition is pretty bad now, especially the neck and ears. You have a double chin. So when you spit your milk, it stays there and becomes bad. Sorry, that's our fault. I will try to clean you more and more. Everyday we learn something. How to take care of you, what is your character, what you are thinking now...

These days you talk and smile at us often. Really really REALLY precious.
That's why we also can smile even though are sleep deprived.

Buglio Boys - 1 Month+

Your grandpa is here. I think he likes you, but at first he wasn't sure how to hold you (just like me). He was holding you so carefully and making sure your neck and head was comfortable. It was so strange to see him hold a baby. His grandson.

And more good news! You have a new cousin! Your aunt Yoshiko gave birth this morning to a baby girl. Soon you will meet her, and her two brothers. This will be a happy new year for the Narita family!

Koguma chan - 1 Day Shy of 1 Month

You look more like a monkey than a bear. Crazy monkey.

Really? - 4 Days Shy of 1 Month

C'mon dude. This morning, you pooped and peed WHILE we were changing your diaper. Really? The Wee Blocker we bought doesn't seem like enough. We also need a Poop Stopper.

Rock N Roll - 5 Days Shy of 1 Month Old

Here's the funny thing about sleep deprivation: every little thing that used to be important to me has taken a back seat to my new and only goal...getting you to sleep, or at the very least, relax. This might be what people are talking about when they mention a parent's sacrifice. And of course it must be so. If we choose to have a child, we are also making a choice to put that child first. For me, that means you. For your mama too.

And thank god for your mama (and you should thank her too, when you get older). Here's why.

Last night, you were freaking out. You were hot and sweaty. We fed you, changed your diaper (about 20 times!). We did everything we could do to make you feel better, but still you cried. Crying babies can be cute, so let me re-phrase that. Last night you wailed.

Here's where sleep deprivation comes back into play. You slept pretty well all day yesterday up until 10pm and onward. Of course, this is the time we are sleepy, and after 3+ weeks of not sleeping too much, our sleepy times are REALLY sleepy. 

So last night nothing seemed to make you feel better. Maybe you had gas (you fart a lot), that probably was painful. I know you were not hungry. But I can't help too much with stomach gas so you just continued to cry. Mama was helping to clean the house, do some laundry or something, so she wasn't in the living room. It was just you and me. I was trying and trying to calm you down but you just cried and cried. Finally, I just yelled, "What the F*%k!"

I feel bad about this now. I feel terrible that I said a bad word to you (I don't think you noticed because you just continued to cry). I shouldn't use that word. I don't want you to say that word, at least not until you are older and wiser. Your mama though is a wonderful person. She quickly came back into the living room and smiled at me and took you into her arms (maybe she was rescuing you?). She gave me a soft kiss and I walked away to take a break.

Of course, today I feel terrible. You're a baby. You only have a few things you can do right now and crying is one of those things. I know this, but I let my frustration get the better of me. Sorry kiddo. I'll do my best to take a deep breath before I say a bad word. Mamas and papas are supposed to be good examples for their kids.

Now, I know you are going to cry more. I know I won't be able to stop your crying every time. And maybe I will never know why you are crying like you cried last night.

Or will I?

This weekend, you were sleeping in my arms. You're usually a peaceful sleeper, but this time you were moving a little bit. I looked down and noticed this:

I can only surmise that you have some sort of internal heavy metal soundtrack going on in your head. During the day time this is probably pleasant. You can rock out to the sounds of Ronnie James Dio and Iron Maiden and devil horn it up to your heart's content. I can only further surmise that at night this becomes annoying to you and you wish that soundtrack would just turn off so you could snooze.

To help, I am devising a plan to de-metal your internal soundtrack at night by slowly introducing soothing sounds starting at the 8pm hour. It is my hope that a couple hours of Enya and sounds of the rain forest will turn the tide against Black Sabbath and by midnight or so you'll be in new age dreamland.

If this doesn't work, I'll come up with a new plan. But I promise this much: I won't let it slip my mind that you are a baby, and babies cry. You keep doing what you are doing, we're so happy to hear your voice.

Aren't You Tired? +3 Weeks

It's been 3 weeks since you've joined us. I think we have gone through every emotion. It still amazes me that you are here. 

You don't sleep much though. Well, not at night anyway. Why? Are you on Japan time? While you might not sleep a lot at night, here's a list of things you do a lot:

Eat

Poop

Punch the air

Spit up on your clothes

Spit up on you bed

Spit up on your parents

Make us smile

We might be tired and we might go crazy when you're crying, but it's a beautiful sound really. I'm happy just to hold you and listen to your little (sometimes big) voice.

Nice To Meet You Genki - +Week 2

Finally! We met you. Why you didn't want to go outside? I feel like I want to see how comfortable it is in my belly.

It was scary when I was having contractions. Super painful. So your papa was holding my hand all the time. I couldn't eat heavy food. They gave me only light food. Water, juice, crackers and sherbet. When my contractions were bad, they gave me an oxygen mask because your oxygen was low. It smelled like maple syrup. I wanted to eat the macadamia nuts pancake that me and your papa ate on our babymoon in Hawaii. (After labor, your papa ordered the pancake for me at the hospital. It was not so good though...).

During the c section too, he was holding my hand all the time. My body couldn't stop shaking. Because of anesthesia? Or because I was scared. We tried not to think about it and kept chatting about other things. Maybe about your papa's sister and something about my brother. I don't remember well.

Suddenly I heard your crying voice. Your papa looked at you. I could't see because Im laying down and there was the curtain in front of me. A little bit later, they put you on a rolling cart that near my bed. Then I could see you for the first time! At that time I was shaking for happiness. Your papa cut the cord. I couldn't see well because there was many people around you. After that they brought you to me and I held you for the first time. I almost cried. I remember I cried at the doctor's office When we knew I had you in my belly.

...So now you came back home with us. You didn't sleep well past few nights. But last night, you slept from 1am to 4:40! We were surprised. Good boy, Best boy :)

By the way, look at this picture. This is Jan 28th's photo of you. You are only 3 months? Now, you really like this pose. We didn't know how much you preferred this position at that time. It's funny.

I feel nervous and fear if I'm doing well for you all the time. If you don't sleep, if you cry too much, if you're annoyed during nursing.

Your smile makes me happy. Today your grandma and great grandma left here. Of course I was sad and cried like usual. But I could be patient more than before she left. Because now I have you. I have my own family. Your papa also helps me a lot. If he wasn't here, I couldn't do everything.

Thank you for coming to us.
 I love you so much. I love my family.

Project Koguma, Phase II - Make Genki genki - + Week1

Wow, what a week it has been. You're 6 days old and have been home for 3 days. It really is a numbers game at this point. How many ml are you drinking? How many hours are we sleeping? How many diapers are you having?

While we are on that subject, let's talk about last night. Mama and I know you don't sleep all night yet. We know that will come later. We are doing our best to keep you fed and clean at night. Last night though, I think you were playing games.

You woke up at maybe 2am or something like that. That's normal, you wake up a lot. You are a hungry growing boy. We changed your diaper together. It always takes two people because you kick and punch so much. You hate diaper changing time. So we cleaned you up, put a fresh diaper on you, then mama started to feed you.

During your feeding though, you pooped again! It was funny. Kind of a cute sound. It's fine. We thought we should change you again soon so you will eat then sleep quickly. We did. Cleaned you up, fresh diaper (again). Mama then started to feed you again (to finish the feeding). 10 minutes later...ANOTHER poop! What? Really? I think I saw a little smile on your face. If so, you have my sense of humor.

I've been taking a lot of photos of you. Some are good, some bad (my fault, not yours). Some day we will give all the photos to you. They are kind of a family treasure for me.

Project Koguma - Phase 1 Complete - +1 Day

Well baby bear, you made it! Now we can officially start referring to you as Genki Orsino Buglio, instead of Koguma-chan (though I suspect that name will pop up from time to time.

I'll start by saying you held off your entrance as long as you could. For some reason you just didn't want to turn your head, so we had to take matters into our own hands and get you out of mama's belly. That was a very emotional decision and a little bit scary too. But baby and mama are safe and healthy, so in the end we made the right choice. Here's a look at the three of us when you were only a few minutes old.

What can I say? You're wonderful. We are so happy to finally see you and hold you and feed you and yes, even change your diapers. That might change, but for now it's all fun.

You sleep pretty well so far, we know that will change too, but we are glad you can sleep a little, so that we can sleep a little too. You make funny noises when you are almost asleep. You sound a little like a pig, or a frog. Strange noises for a baby bear, no?

We're going to continue this blog as long as we can. As long as feels natural. Some day we will give you a book of these entries, to show you how we were feeling week to week and month to month when you were growing inside mama's belly. Now you are growing up in the world. Like I said in the beginning: take your time out here, grow strong.

Ready For Your Debut? - Week 41, 3 Days

Baby Bear, it's finally time to coax you out of hibernation. We checked in to the hospital last night to get the process started. And start it did! Your mama has endured so many contractions now that I can judge them based on her facial expressions. This is one of the "nice" ones.

She's also just had an epidural put in. That was not fun. But it will help make your final journey from her belly a more comfortable one for her.


When we were married, we didn't know when we would see you. After Thanksgiving last year we knew we would see you in about 9 months. Now, we are hours away from seeing you. Time flies. I've been watching your heartbeat. It's very strong.

See you soon Baby Bear.

Stage Fright? - 41 Weeks, 2 Days

So Baby Bear, you're really more comfortable inside your mama's belly? You still kick and play a lot, it must be so much fun in there. Your mama doesn't think so. She feels a little pain every day. Nothing big, just a little. But she wants to see your face. Me too. Grandma and Great-Grandma too. We're all waiting.

Today we will visit the doctor. She'll check mama and decide if it is time to induce the labor. That's a big scary thing for you. You're hanging out inside mama's belly, kicking and double punching, hiccuping, having fun...then suddenly things start happening for you. We don't really want to do this, but if you are not ready to come out by yourself, this will help.

So who knows. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow. We don't know yet. But we do know we want to see you and hug you and take you for walks and all the fun things families do.

First thing's first though. It's time for you to make your debut.

Late For Your Own Party - Week 40, 6 Days

So grandma and great-grandma showed up, but you're still being shy. You know, it's fun out here. I can still feel you kicking inside your mama's belly, but I know you would have more fun kicking on the sofa, or in your bed, or riding around in your stroller. There are so many cool things for you to see and so many people want to meet you. Won't you come out soon?

Well, I do need to tell you, if you don't come out by Tuesday (3 more days), the doctor is going to come in there and get you. You are the star of this show and we can't start without you.

Maybe this picture will coax you out. Look at all these faces, they only want to see yours.

Every day we are eating and drinking good food. Your mama is ready to give you food too. Maybe milk? I'm sure you will like that.

Maybe tonight? Maybe tomorrow? Soon. We are waiting!

How Are You Baby? - 40 Weeks, 2 Days

While I'm writing this, you are having hiccups. I used to have them when I was a kid too.
Are you like me or your papa?

At the beginning of my pregnancy, I thought you're more like your papa because you move with an almost perfect schedule time every day. And I really wanted cheese and sweets, and those are in your papa's favorite 3 foods.

But now, the due date passed...that's more my style. Maybe while growing these 10 months, you changed your character?

The doctor said you might come this weekend if it's lucky. Then if you won't come, I have to talk with her about labor induction next Tuesday. I don't want to use that. I want you to feel "I want to come out!" by yourself. I'm waiting. Papa is waiting. Also, your grandma and great grandma will come to see you the day after tomorrow. How fun is it for you? Let's enjoy this beautiful summer with everyone.

D Day - 40 Weeks

Well, today is your due date. Are you coming out today? We don't think so. We think you are too comfortable inside mama's belly. You play a lot in there. Maybe you like your room in the womb? Well, we want to tell you your room outside is pretty cool too. Mama painted some cool designs on your wall. Your bed and changing table are all ready. You even have a few toys waiting for you.

Isn't that better than mama's belly? Last night you played a lot. I was talking to you, but I don't think you were listening too much. You are so genki, even now. The doctor said you probably wouldn't move so much the last couple of weeks, but you didn't get that memo.

Baby Bear, we want to see you so much, but of course we understand you need to come out when you are ready. We just hope that is soon.

August Arrived, Where are You - Week 39, 5 Days

Well, the calendar turned to August, your grandma and great grandma have tickets booked to see you, but you're still hiding in your mama's belly. When are you coming out?

We've been making ourselves busy with little projects. Getting the house ready for you. But nothing keeps my mind off of your arrival. In a few days, maybe a week, maybe less, all of our lives will change. We're very excited for that change.

Next my job is what? - 38 Weeks, 5 Days

Hey, what should i do next for you? I have no idea how to let you be born now.
I can feel some pain, my bone position is changing. But I feel it's just small steps for me anymore.
I feel like you will stay there one more month. That's crazy. We want to see you!

Last doctor's appointment, I knew you are looking the front way.
The doctor said it's not good. So could you change the position of your head? I took hold of your head through the belly skin that time. Did you feel? Your head was size of an apple. I wonder if I should try to get your papa to talk to you from my back?

Your papa is still working hard. last week he painted your furniture. He bought the design that I wanted. Really cute one. Maybe when you become a teenager, you want more cool things. But that time your brothers or sisters can use that (or me).

These days, when we water the grass, the neighbor's cat comes to sit. Maybe she can be your friend. I hope you don't have any allergies like me. Many many wishes, dreams, fears and wondering this week.

Ahhhh I'm scared of the delivery, but I want to see you so bad!! 

After you are born, let's do exercise together. I have to be 48kg for some reason.

Nice Kicks! - 38 Weeks, 5 Days

Well baby bear, are you ready or what? The anticipation is killing us, it could be any day now. You're still kicking around in there but just not ready to push yet? No worries, we know it is soon. It's just these last couple of weeks feel longer than the previous 9 months!

Lucky for you, papa is always on the lookout for cool things. Your room (next to ours) is decked out with cool stuff. Drawers stuffed with cool clothes. and now this, another pair of sweet kicks.

Pretty awesome, right? Those are D Rose models. He's kind of a big name in Chicago sports (always remember, Chicago and Osaka are your roots!). Mama and I are looking forward to getting these on your feet soon!

Oh The Fun - Week 38, 1 Day

The big questions everyone asks now: did the baby come? Is the baby coming? When when when!? We'd like the answer to that as well. We thought it might be early, but it seems to be anyone's guess on when you'll arrive.

It's funny, today the news is all about the birth of the royal baby. This is big news. Your mama and I obviously aren't excited about that one, we just want to meet you.

This post is a little random, but I can't think too straight right now. Let's just end this with a cute photo of your mama at the last Dr. visit. She got a vaccine to help make sure you are healthy (no whooping cough for you!). This is her favorite part of the doctor visits.

Wanna Go Out? - Week 37, 1 Day

In the book, you are already big enough, so its supposed to be difficult to play in there. But you. You still move a lot. You punch my stomach and bang your head into my pelvis.

Is it more fun inside than outside? I don't think so. There are so many great things that I want to share with you. Don't listen to anyone...if you want to get out of my belly, C'mon!

Home Stretch - Week 37, 1 Day

It's crazy. It's real. You're almost here. Or not. It's anyone's best guess. We did learn that Dr. Miller now thinks it will happen before August though. This based on signs from mama's last visit. The suspense is killing me. I think we are both ready to meet you.

Something made me laugh this week. I bought milk (not for you, mom's got that covered). The expiration date is late August. What made me laugh was that you will be here before our latest milk purchase expires. Just funny for me?

This week we should have your room all about ready. Just waiting on a final piece, your dresser, so we can pack all your cool stuff into it (and out of your bed). Hope you like everything!

Taking Shape - Week 36, 2 Days

Well little one, we got an unexpected look at you yesterday. Seems you are not keeping up with expected growth (not surprising since both of your parents aren't exactly L sized). All is well though, you are in the range of growth that is expected. The Ultrasound tech though says based on your measurements we should expect you around August 9. I'm sticking to the 4th.

We've been chipping away at the last minute details for your arrival. We have some essentials like diapers and clothes. Some kind people have pitched in and purchased some great things for you (don't worry, we'll send thank you cards in your name). One of the things I am most excited about is this:

When I was a wee boy, this was my favorite book. I can't believe I found it in Japanese. And worry not, your aunt Lynda got you the English version. It's so simple, but so pleasant...like most things in life.

We're getting anxious, I bet you are too. Not too much longer now.

-papa

Time Flies So Fast - Week 35

After I knew you were in my belly, the time really went fast. Now It's less than 40 days until you're due.

But after my mom (your grandma) left here, I realized I have only your papa as family. Nobody else here. In Japan, there is always somebody at home. I can always talk with someone. And I know I can't make up for this feeling with friends. Friends are different for me. I need stronger and more relaxing relationships. That's family. I want to share many feelings together. I want to talk and hear about everything with family. I'm looking forward to meeting you. I can have another family member here.

Yes, but I'm nervous everyday. Especially because I'm living in America. So I worry if I miss some information or misunderstand something. Many things are different from Japan. I feel like I want to be 120% sure more than usual.  It makes me nervous, more and more. I know maybe it's too much sometimes.

Usual Im not like this. more easy going. Last time when I met uncle Atsushi, he also told me how much of a "gritty" person I am. He said If he were me, he can't be like me in America.

These few days, you don't move a lot. Only during the morning time you move well. Instead of your kick, I have pain in the lower abdomen. Last night I was putting the sheets on the bed. After that I really felt sick some pain so I felt "Yabai" and stopped what I was doing.

Maybe that's a sign that we can meet soon? At the same time, I'm not ready for the hospital. So the other meaning, "Yabai."

P.S.  Please bring her back with you, Kogumachan.

Swag From Grandma, Part 2 - Week 34

Well, you're gaining weight and gifts at about the same rate. Check out these awesome blocks your Grandma got for you:

Your mama is so happy because they included a disputed island in the map of Japan. This is the final piece of evidence needed so Russia can f*ck off and stop claiming it as their own.

Swag From Grandma - Week 32

Well little one, evidently babies need stuff. A lot of it in fact. There are baby solutions for every problem imaginable. The basics of food, shelter and clothing seem to cover about, oh, .01% of what you actually need.

So it is very fortunate you have grandparents who know these things and will make sure you're covered. This past week your Grandma from Japan has been visiting us and helping cross things off the list (a list that grows more than it shrinks by the way).  Your crib is filling up with swag to say the very least.

It actually started in San Fran when we received bags of cool clothes from Aaron and Sarah. It continued in Japan with your mama, Grandma and Great-Grandma buying more stuff. There's underwear, over wear, bibs, swaddling blankets other blankets, sheets, devices to take your temperature (don't worry, we picked the ear one). You've got a baby car, a changing pad, a dresser, clothes, clothes and more clothes (you take after your mama and papa for sure with all this clothing).

How much fun, right? Well, try not to get used to it. It's not easy to separate need vs want (I struggle!), but we'll do our best to satisfy both.

Good news! - Week 30

I think I turned on the "ready" light to feed you! You will desire to drink this for at least 1 year :).

Papa's edit: BUT ONLY 1 YEAR!...none of this:

Rice Baby - Week 30

So little Koguma, technically you are still enjoying your second trip to Japan. The first one, at new year's, well you were smaller than an onigiri. Now look at you, nearly the size of a butternut squash. You're really starting to grow eh?

You're definitely going to have Japan in your soul. At the very heart of Japan is food (shopping is  a close second). At the heart of that is rice. The staple of every Japanese meal.

I noticed on our flight in to Tokyo, that the rice fields were newly flooded, signaling the start of the planting season. From 10,000 feet above, they look like panes of glass in mosaic-like geometric patterns. The area around Narita Airport (below) is littered with fields.

You'll be joining us in August, which is also pertinent to the rice theme. The rice will be mature and many fields will be harvested starting in August. And as much as I hate to admit, the rice we grow in the States pales in comparison to Japanese rice. Your mama started craving rice some time ago which means you got your first taste.

Lately though, you seem to not be as hungry as before. Keep eating though, you'll need your strength for the upcoming journey. A couple more months to go, then the daily anticipation can start. As if it didn't start 6 months ago.

Mom's hunch proves right? - Week 29

After me and papa came to Japan, suddenly you became bigger and bigger.
So I  feel tired and my legs cramp at night easier.
Maybe because your uncle (my brother, Jun) said so? I feel like you are coming out earlier than the due date.

That's kind of trouble for us. Because your grandma is planning a trip to the States to match the due in August.

My body will feel easier though.  Maybe you are big enough now ne? I can't believe you will be double weight. I'm gonna die. hahaha

I heard one lady's story yesterday. She is also pregnant now. 8 months, same as me. Her first baby was born 1 month earlier. the weight was 2490g. She was't ready at all so she panicked then.
I will get ready with almost all the stuff for the hospital and you after this trip.

Oh, about your weight, but after your papa left Japan, you are not starving so much. You don't ask me to eat so much. Or me?
Do you feel strange because you can't hear papa's voice lately? You can talk with him a lot (your answer is kick and punch <3 ) when we are back to our home.

Cauliflower Head - Week 27

According to the phone app, you're meant to be about the size of a cauliflower head now. I have no idea what that means. I don't eat the stuff, can't say I have ever seen a "head of cauliflower" up close and personal.  All I know is it tastes horrible (I'm sure you'll agree, and if mama wants you to eat it, just say "papa doesn't, so I don't have to").

We're off to Japan tomorrow. Technically your second trip, and the last time they will let you in the country without a passport. Your mama is going to stay for a long time without me, so take it easy on her. Don't kick too much.

You're nearing the home stretch little one. You'll spend the next month growing in Japan, then you'll come home (with grandma) and take the final 8 weeks getting ready for the big push. Limber up (Rule #18).

1ST ANNIVERSARY - Week 26

04/28/2012, me and your papa got married in Osaka. It was one of the happiest days in my life.

We decided to be together afresh. 

It's past but about 1 week ago, it was your papa's birthday. I got ready secretly and celebrated with some friends. Even he doesn't feel comfortable to be one year older, always "Birthday" is good. 

Im looking forward to celebrate your birthday too.

But unfortunately he is a little sick now. Because he works hard at his job and making many house small things to get ready for you (also, he wants to finish many things before your grandma comes here). I'm surprised how tough he is. 

We just came back form San Francisco last night. Your papa had to work over there. He worked sooo hard there too. Me? I did shopping and bought your cute clothes :) 

Did you feel the different air? 9 hours! He drove that long way. Some places were chilly, some places were crazy hot. On this trip also I could see many beautiful things. Beautiful blue sky, birds, great bridge, super big moon! I want to show you many things like this.

It's only 1 year since I came to America. But I went to many places with your papa already.

Seattle, Vancouver, Texas, Japan. After we knew you are in my belly, San Rafael, San Francisco, Hawaii...then we're gonna go to Japan next week. 

You must be able to be tough kid like your papa! (that I love.)

Movers and Shakers (You and Us) - Week 23

Well little Koguma, it's been a while since I rapped at ya (name that reference!!). According to the app on our phones, you're meant to be as big as an ear of corn now. All of the comparatives on that app have been food. It makes your mama hungry. Truth be told, she's eating a lot. Which means you're eating a lot? You must like pizza, 'cause the other night mama ate 3 huge pieces. Of course you like pizza, you're a baby Buglio.

A couple weeks back we had another ultrasound. you were pretty active (genki) during that time. Moving quite a bit and throwing your arms and legs around. Wild style! This pic below is a little creepy, but I love the position of your fist.

You're kicking a bunch lately. I think your mama is wondering why you're so antsy, but I love it (sorry Nana). I just think it's your spirit. You want out of there and into the world. Good news on that front. You're about 16-17 weeks away from meeting everyone. Looking forward to that. Until then, stretch those legs and arms. It might annoy your mama a little, but I know she loves it.

We've been busy lately, getting the house ready for you (and the parade of visitors who will want to see you!). So if you hear some hammering, some sawing...rest assured. It's all in an effort to make our house ready for you. If it gets too loud, just give your mama a gentle kick. She can then tell me to put the hammer down for a bit.

You must be still small yet - Week 23

You are not big enough to act up in my belly, right?
But these days, I don't feel so. Your kick and punch is stronger than before. Before, I thought "Ah, Kogumachan woke up and is playing."
Now, sometimes I feel you are just angry at me. Because I lay down on my left side and you kick me so strong many times. Maybe you prefer left belly position?
If you do, maybe you are little bit grumpy ne. I will try to make you comfortable more.

-Mama

We Decided Your Name! - Week 20

We saw you yesterday. We've been thinking of names for you. We've come up with cool names for a boy or a girl. But we now know what you'll be, and after your performance on the ultrasound, me and papa thought that we already had the perfect name picked out. You move so much. I think other babies don't move so much like you that time. The doctor also was surprised because you are so genki.

I didn't eat breakfast that time so you must have been hungry. You tried to lick your fingers.

That was super cute. Make sure you stop that before you turn 5 years old (not like your uncle...).

Ah! also, Your papa touched and felt you first time last night. Did you hear his voice? He called you and you answered.

He doesn't listen to me though! (I hope you are different).

Tropical Fruit - Week 19

According to our little iPhone app, you're about the size of a mango right now. That's fitting seeing as how your mama and I just went to Hawaii. Now I don't eat a lot of mangoes, but I have an idea of how big they are. To think you are already this big boggles my mind.

To your credit, you've been kind enough to not get too big too fast. The casual observer wouldn't even notice your mama is pregnant.

Speaking of mangoes, well, not really...I'm hoping you like carrots. I won't say exactly why right now. I just really want you to love carrots.

Your mama giving you a gentle pat on the beach in Maui.

You Must Be a Gymnast Or Something - Week 18

Thank you for relaxing and relieving me of my morning sickness. I know now you are always starving and want to eat more and more. Did you like that Japanese restaurant, Shigezo? I understand it's good but you ate too much yo. Or am I just shifting blame to you? :p

Now I can feel you only a little bit. If I relax and touch my belly, I can feel you are moving around and around. What are you doing? Trying to get a comfortable position? Already practicing the tricks of BMX? If you are, your papa is proud of you! Not flatland though...whatever.

Since we moved to the new house, your papa worked a lot. 日曜大工(nichiyou-daiku) dayo. But not only on Sunday. So your papa looks a little tired these days. He is easy to get annoyed a little. But we are not fighting or arguing. Just tired. If you hear our not so good voices, don't worry. Proof of this, maybe you can feel the warmth of your papa's hands through my hands (he holds my hand at night always).

Baby Proof - Week 18

Here's a story for you, little one. When I was a little boy, maybe 3 or 4 years old, I recall my papa caught me inserting finishing nails into electrical sockets. Seemed logical. Here were a few nails and there was a hole in the wall. I was doing my part to tidy up the house.

Let's put aside for a moment the fact that at that age I could get my tiny hands on nails. In fact, it might have been something else and not nails at all. It's my story, and that's how I remember it. I had small metallic objects and I was determined to put them in the socket.

It's important to remember, this was the late '70s. The concept of baby proofing your house hadn't exactly swept the parenting nation. I think there might have been a baby gate, but beyond that, the house was a real life game of Pitfall.

(as an aside, I will also tell you, when I was a bit older, we're talking 6 or 7 years old, I sat in the front seat of my mom's car wherever we went. And when I say I "sat," I mean I stood on the seat, no seat belt. How the hell else could I see over the dashboard?)

Back to our story. In a case of fortunate timing, my papa happened to see what I was doing. Quickly putting two and two together and coming to the conclusion that his only son was about to do a Benjamin Franklin, my pop did what any loving father would...yanked me away from the wall and gave me a spanking.

This wasn't the first or last time I caught a beating. Most of the time I deserved it (I'll tell you someday about the time I took a whiz on the tree in the front yard...in broad daylight). This time however, looking back, I am going to say it probably wasn't something that should have ended up with my rear end on fire.

Times have changed. It's now the responsibility of the parent to cover up for the shortcomings of a toddler's instinct. We no longer believe in survival of the fittest or the Darwinian law of natural selection when it comes to our offspring. So, long story short, we've begun the process to "child proof" the new house.

I trust, given the blood that will flow through your veins, that you will find new and exciting ways in which to hurt yourself in our bubble-wrapped home. And when you do, it will be with no small amount of pride and nostalgia that I whip your butt.