Cubs Win! Cubs Win!

So a funny thing happened last week. Something I have never seen, most people alive have never seen. And something most people assumed they would never see:

The Chicago Cubs became World Series champions.

What’s this got to do with me, you might be asking? Well, nothing, and a lot of things. In no particular order, here are the ways you have been affected.

1. While you won’t remember it in your adult lives, October of 2016 was a month that was probably not too pleasant to be around papa and was definitely not pleasant for mama. The emotional ups and downs made for a sometimes tense house. This is something (I hope) you will never understand. Already in your lifetime, the Cubs have won the World Series. So let’s assume you become massive, irrational Cubs fans like your father, at least you won’t be 41 years old watching your favorite team compete for the trophy for the first time. Yes, you were too young to see this one, but you were alive. It happened. There will be a DVD, or whatever media is popular for you. It wasn’t in your 41st year of life. Let’s hope you have a much more measured approach to being a fan.

2. You both wore a lot of Cubbie blue this year. For some strange reason when you both were born, I thought to myself I would not transfer my sports fandom to you. You were not born and raised in Chicagoland. I believe in being loyal to the team you grew up with and undoubtedly that will not be a group of Chicago teams. Thankfully though, Portland does not have an MLB, NHL or NFL franchise..so at least the Cubs, Sox, Blackhawks and Bears are in the running. I’ll be happy if you cheer for the Timbers and won’t be disappointed if you like the Blazers. Just please, no Seattle teams…ok?

3. Not a whole lot of cartoons playing on the TV at night during the month of October.

4. Again, assuming you become Cubs fans (no guarantee of that), there is an identity you won’t have. I am not sure if this is good or bad. Loving something that never quite loves you back is character building. Loyalty is learned. Patience is learned. There’s a payoff at the end, or at least possibility of a payoff that is bigger and better than any lottery win. It’s like moving to heaven after living in hell.

5. It’s not all bad, for the next several months, I’ll be flying high..maybe there’s a few more things you can get away with (Genki, I’m looking at you, just don’t go overboard).

In the end, it’s a good time to say thank you to you both and most importantly your mama who not only put up with me during the month of October, but genuinely got into it. I am happy I could share this happiness with you .

Almost 3

Lots of bubbles. 

Wow, hard to believe but you are approaching birthday number 3. And what a big year for you. You became a big brother and so far you have been kind of nice to little Kiko. Sometimes you come over to her and touch her head. It’s cute.

This is bed time, but sometimes we need to take photos!

You've had nice visits from Grandpa Ray and Grandma Peggy (Aunt Theresa too). You're getting bigger and stronger and having lots of fun hanging out with Keita and sometimes Shokei. You are sleeping by yourself sometimes. You are being a great little boy.

There are still some things we need to work on. Talking of course and maybe eating a few more new things. But I know those things will come with time. Every day you give us joy, so we couldn't be happier.

Mr. Cool guy.

Taking photos with Grandma's phone.

Our Boy

Mama wrote you a note about her feelings after “officially” hearing the word autism as connected to you. I’ve taken a bit more time to say essentially the same thing. But not because I needed more time to accept this diagnosis as a definition of you.

It’s more because I’m lazy.

These last 9 months have been an exciting time in our family, and very shortly here, things are going to get even more exciting for you, in just about every way.

First, you’re about to be a big brother. I mean, really about to be. Mama is ready to go and Kiko-chan seems almost ready too. No matter what, in less than 2 weeks you’ll be big brother Genki. More on that later.

Second, I didn’t feel the need to write anything specific about this diagnosis. Maybe that is a bit of naiveté or denial on my part. But really, this news in no way changes one bit of how I feel about you. Of course it wouldn’t. All this means to me is that we need to find the right places for you to learn as you need to. In the big picture, that’s just a small thing for us.

Here’s what’s big..you’re our boy and always will be. We want you to be happy and healthy, however that shakes out. There’s not one thing about you that we would change if we could.

Which is your real?

When you lay down, you can't think the distance between other person and you.

So you often lay down on my face. It REALLY hurts...

I thought I got broken bone so many times.

One time your head hit on my cheek bone. After that I couldn't open mouth well, teeth hurt, felt pain every time when I eat something. I thought I got bad teeth first. It took few weeks to heal.

But on the progress to heal, you hit again!!

I shout and cried seriously. I couldn't breathe well and almost passed out. 

After I calm down, I was thinking about my old schoolmate who is a boxer now. 

I can't believe he gets this pain every time...

Now I cover my face perfectly always when I lay down with you. 

The other way. I don't know if you understand or not but my belly is huge because of your sister.

Sometimes my shirts comes up and show my belly.

Then you care about my belly and fix my shirts to cover it for me everytime. 

I really love it. How sweet!

(And you kiss me softly. haha)

So which is the real you?!

My Lovely Little Boy

Today I got the result that you are diagnosed with autism. It is really tough to think what I can do for you. Especially since I'm not good at English like other Japanese mamas who work somewhere.

So I feel like I'm out of control of it in America. I have no power.

If it's in Japan, I could search where I can get the best service that I want for you or what is good for you or something, by myself. But here, I have no idea. From the beginning I don't know what is different culture for any of autism or what is same. What they have, what they don't have...

For example, there is YAMAHA music lesson in Japan, everywhere. I feel like it's good education for your character.

I know I need my driver's license here too. This also one of difficult thing.

I was sad when I heard the result this morning.

But when I saw your face after that, nothing changed. There was my sweet sweet baby in front of me, looking at me, hugging me.

You cheer me up.

This Gets Me Every Time

I look at this photo and every single time I just smile, laugh a little bit and just have this great feeling in the center of my chest.

Every single time. Same reaction.

And not just this photo.

So many pictures of you do this to me. Your look, the innocent eyes, the beautiful simple joy expressed. It does it to me every time.

Week of Firsts

A couple more first for little bear this week.

Now, usually, parents wouldn’t be too happy about a toddler eating pizza, but given that you won’t try ANYTHING new, we were both pretty happy when you decided to take a bite of pizza. And then another bite. And another. You ate a whole piece Of course it was Chicago style (not deep dish) square cut pizza. We gotta get you eating more stuff!

The next day was another first…your first time painting. You made a lot of nice pictures.

You also had your first double stroller ride with Keita-kun on the way to the park.

Slippers

Recently you started using mama's slippers. Why? 

Puppy

Ok, so a lot of the time I call you "puppy." You are our little pup, so I've called you puppy a lot. I also call you super pooper. That's another easy nickname. But puppy....yeah, I use that one a lot. 

It's not because you're our little dog. But sometimes, wow, you do definitely have the boundless energy and enthusiasm of a little puppy.

You also fall asleep like one. 

Recently, since you moved into your own room, your mom and I take turns laying down with you and pretending to be asleep. Sometimes you fall asleep quickly, sometimes not so much. But I do notice, that in the few minutes before you fall asleep, you circle and circle and circle until you find just the right position.

Tonight was like that. It made me laugh, but you just did your thing and found a comfortable position and fell asleep.

And why do you always take off your socks?

Something new what you could do as a big brother!

It's my first posting for 2016. This year will be a big year for you. You will be a brother for our new family member. Maybe some part of that makes you unhappy (like jealous?) a little but I'm sure you guys can be a good friends to each other.

Still you can't speak any words at all. I worry to think about many "Ifs" more than your papa. You make a noise a lot. Well, sometimes too much. But I really really hope to hear you say "papa" soon.
Maybe this word is something that your papa wants to hear the most. Because you are our first child.
You say "mama" kind of...

Last week we built your new room by the kitchen. You like it, but you don't get used to sleeping alone there yet. Last weekend we pretended like we were sleeping next to you, then finally you fell asleep next to us until morning. But still about 22:30-7:00. It's too short for you to feel enough.

Your bed.

Where you sleep (sometimes).

Sunday night, we left you alone to sleep by yourself. You could fall asleep but not in the bed. We found you sleeping on the floor in front of the mirror. WHY? And you woke up at 2:30. Even though we tried, you didn't sleep for a long time. Finally we gave up and took you upstairs and I held you until you slept. (until 5:30!)

Where (and how) you like to sleep.

Well, anyways good first try, I think. Good job Genki. We need your old space for the new baby, Bunny-chan.

Today I tried to cut your nails while you were awake. Usually I cut them when you are sleeping, in a DARK room. I hold my phone for the small light in my mouth and cut it. It's really hard and scarey not to cut your finger always.

Of course you cried and didn't want me to do it. I showed my "angry" face to you and you moved crazy still, tried to escape but in the end I could finish one hand. We both sweated a lot, especially our hands were wet. Mama is the winner for today's fight. But also I knew the feet were impossible.  I will do it tonight while you are sleeping. I will try again when you are awake soon.

But I think it's your big change for me.
Are you ready to be a big brother?